If you are a man or woman trapped in the grip of pornography addiction, if you are struggling and failing to break free, and if your life is in turmoil because of it, I offer a beacon of hope and inspiration. I have been in that deep, dark place, where the weight of the shadows felt unbearable.
If you think you’ve reached rock bottom, I assure you this addiction will take you to depths you’ve never experienced before. That was me, feeling completely lost and believing things couldn’t possibly get any worse. But then, I found myself in an even more difficult situation, doing and desiring things I never imagined. I lost my peace, health, friends, and almost my family.
“There is no peace,” says the LORD, “for the wicked” (Isaiah 48:22).
It’s like sipping from a never-ending fountain, each drop leaving you craving more. I remember a story about a curious cat that discovered a single drop of blood on a file. Intrigued by the scent, she couldn’t resist licking it, unaware that the tiny teeth in the file would scratch her tongue and make her bleed. The cat became extremely excited when she noticed more blood in the file, so she started licking even more, causing her tongue to bleed further. She became consumed by the sensation, unaware that she was licking her own blood until she collapsed, powerless, from blood loss.
I know it may sound dramatic, but this is the truth about pornography.
There are countless books and lectures discussing the harmful effects of pornography. They emphasize how it can damage your relationship with God and destroy families. Some of these books encourage you to stop watching it. Apps and programs are also available to track your usage and hold you accountable. But despite trying everything, none of these methods have helped me. I am an addict, loving porn more than my family, my work, or anything else. Because of my love for porn, sometimes I feel as if God is my enemy. The Bible addresses this issue:
“Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God” (James 4:4).
However, deep within me, there is a strong desire for change. Therefore, I am embarking on a new journey, hoping to inspire you to do the same.
I won’t ask you to quit—at least not yet.
Instead, I’ll introduce you to my God and let you witness His power. I want you to meet Him because I have seen His mighty hand at work in me. As someone who has experienced a wide range of emotions and faced many challenges in this journey, I hope to prevent you from going down a similar path.
Your heart has become tainted by the darkness of pornography, like a cup of water spoiled by black ink. You attempt to purify this black water—but fail. Yet, if you throw the cup into the ocean and mix its water with the ocean’s vastness, the black color vanishes immediately. The ocean is large enough to contain any spill, just like our divine God, who is so pure that the spills in Him simply disappear.
When I mentioned wanting to introduce you to my God, it is because the one I know—the one who has been my source of strength during my toughest years—is far beyond what is written in books or spoken about in churches.
Many people haven’t had an experience with God. Some of us grew up in families that were distant from Him or lacked faith. Others have been broken from a young age with no presence of God in their lives. Those who experienced abuse in childhood or their teenage years may now find themselves wondering where God is. I often hear people say they wish God didn’t exist so they could indulge in their desires. Numerous children and adults grew up without fathers, and it has caused a lot of pain. Or maybe the father was present but abusive. Perhaps he was after money, consumed by greed and the allure of the world. Countless individuals have been victims of assault, abuse, and abduction, being forced into the dark world of sex slavery across various places and countries. Corruption fills the world, and I wonder if any love remains. But, even in the darkest times, God can provide help and tranquility—unlike the fleeting satisfaction sin offers.
“And call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me” (Psalm 50:15).
Jesus will never ask you to quit before coming to Him. Just like a doctor, He doesn’t expect you to be healthy before your appointment.
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28 ESV).
Jesus touches the dead Himself so He can raise them, even though touching a dead body is considered impure in Judaism. Just hold on to Him tightly, and soon, you will hear His voice.
Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him on high, because he has known My name. He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him, and show him My salvation. (Psalm 91:14-16)
In the next few posts, you will witness God’s greatness and how His love knows no bounds. We will explore why He remains silent and discuss how to win this battle.
Let’s wake up Jesus who is asleep in our ship while the storm rages around us. Once He awakens, we will uncover the reason for His silence. As He rises, we will see what seemed impossible transformed into a victorious reality beyond our imagination.
