Nature teaches us that change is a gradual process, not a magical one. In order to endure harsh weather and winds, seeds must first establish roots and gather nutrients while in the dirt, away from the elements. In time, the small plant will grow strong enough to resist. Jesus explains the Parable of the Sower:
“But the ones on the rock are those who, when they hear, receive the word with joy; and these have no root, who believe for a while and in time of temptation fall away” (Luke 8:13).
The time we spent with porn has left our hearts as hard as rock. Although we now seek Jesus, our efforts have failed, and we continually give in to temptation. He can change our hearts. Listen to David’s cries:
“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me” (Psalm 51:10).
Then God answers:
“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh” (Ezekiel 36:26).
After He does that, He will plant His seeds and only ask that you water them daily—keep praying, even if you don’t see results yet. In the same parable, He says the same thing.
“But the ones that fell on the good ground are those who, having heard the word with a noble and good heart, keep it and bear fruit with patience” (Luke 8:15).
If you want to change, you need patience. Change begins in the heart. If you’re trying to build a house, you must set its foundation first before starting the rest of the construction. Soon, you’ll begin to see the results of your prayers.
The same applies to medicine. Failure to notice any changes in the first few days of taking it doesn’t mean it’s not working; it just takes time to be effective.
In these two examples, the initial work is done internally before anything is visible externally, just like prayer. Initially, you may not witness immediate changes unless God sees fit to intervene, but you feel your prayers are having no effect.
Please, please don’t stop, be patient.
“By your patience possess your souls” (Luke 21:19).
Consistency is a way to show our enemies who we truly seek. As we faithfully knock on God’s door every day just to say hello, they will see this and know not to approach, for they will recognize we are under God’s protection. By knocking on God’s door daily for a 5-minute conversation, you’ll make Satan fearful, and life will be a little easier with only one enemy to face. The toughest battle is the inner struggle, but with God’s grace, you will find the strength to overcome.
“Gird Your sword upon Your thigh, O Mighty One, With Your glory and Your majesty. And in Your majesty ride prosperously because of truth, humility, and righteousness; And Your right hand shall teach You awesome things” (Psalm 45:3-4).
The Dirty Bucket
A wise man placed a dirty and rusty bucket in the barn that hadn’t been used for years. He then instructed his son to fetch water for the cattle using that bucket. Upon reaching the lake, the son filled the bucket with water. However, upon returning home, he discovered the water had leaked out completely due to the bucket’s rust and numerous holes. The dirt on the bucket made it even harder to identify the holes for repair.
The next day, the father asked his son to repeat the task. Not wanting to disappoint his father, the son tried again. But when he returned home, the bucket was still empty, leaving him feeling discouraged, though he hid his emotions from his father.
To his surprise, the father asked him the same question the next morning. This time, the son felt convinced that his efforts were in vain as all his work seemed wasted because the bucket couldn’t hold any water.
Then, his father told him to examine the bucket and asked what he noticed. Much to the son’s amazement, the bucket was completely clean, and he could identify the exact locations of the holes. His father then explained that although the son might feel like he wasn’t accomplishing anything, every time he filled the bucket with water, it was being cleansed. Even though the bucket couldn’t currently hold the water, its cleanliness allowed them to see the holes clearly and repair them.
Your heart, dear fighter, is like that bucket with holes. These holes are hidden beneath layers of dirty images and emotions from years of watching porn, leaving you feeling empty. Your prayers may seem ineffective, leading to frustration. But trust me; each prayer purifies your soul and cleanses your heart.
“Then the Lord said to me, “You have seen well, for I am ready to perform My word” (Jeremiah 1:12)
So when you say: “Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”
These are words from the Bible. God promises that He will watch over them and make them happen. Your prayers gain power through this. One day, you will look at your heart and find it clean. If there are any holes left, they will be easy to fix because now you can see them clearly. If you try to fix all the holes in the rusty, old bucket right away, you’ll soon feel discouraged. Therefore, we won’t focus on the location of the bucket’s holes, nor will we try to clean the bucket ourselves.
Every night, we will pray and fill that old bucket with as much water as we can from God’s source. He is delighted that you’ve taken this step and determined to stay with you and offer His help throughout the process.
Are you willing to be patient? This is the true battle. This is God’s burden. It might sound easy, but many are not convinced. I spent years wrestling with this, trying to comprehend how certain words in a prayer could be the key to overcoming my addiction. How could words in a prayer diminish the feelings and excitement my body experiences while watching porn? As I write these words, I remember that challenging journey.
For a long time, I believed that the first step to being clean was resisting temptation and staying away from porn. But then I realized how heavy that burden is, and I understood that it can’t be what Jesus meant when He spoke about His burden being easy. It was only then that I stumbled upon these verses.
“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God” (Romans 12:2).
Transform your image by shifting your mindset; this is the true battle. It’s not about simply abstaining from pornography but allowing God to purify your thoughts, for your thoughts ultimately shape your actions. Then, and only then, will you experience His word when He said:
“Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed” (John 8:36).
No one cleans a dish in one stroke. It must be rubbed multiple times until it’s clean. When I relapsed before, I would continuously get trapped in a cycle of darkness, filled with demons and sadness, repeating the same experiences you’re going through now, until it became a routine.
Despite my occasional weaknesses, consistent prayer motivates me to rise quickly before falling into that cycle again. The more time I spend praying, the less power Satan has over me to trap me in this cycle.
Talk to God as if you’re talking to a therapist and say:
Oh, God, I am so sorry for relapsing again, and I wish I could promise You I’ll be a better person. But knowing how many times I’ve relapsed before, I can’t possibly make such a promise. Your first commandment demands my complete love and devotion; yet, I struggle with conflicting feelings in my heart. I love indulging in porn and masturbation. I keep trying to rid myself of this love, but it’s like an enormous tree now. The Bible says that whoever drinks from this water will always be thirsty, and I’ve been drinking for years and still want more. I need Your power to help me overcome this, as I know You are a fair God who requires me to show my willingness to change. God, please accept the little I offer, my humble prayers. Purify my thoughts; cleanse my heart and renew my mind to become the person You envisioned and created in Your image.
Start with five minutes of prayer.
Soon, you will
WinThisBattle!
